Ask anyone with a vulva, and they’ve likely heard the same advice for years – you’ve got to do Kegels. Why are Kegels so important? They strengthen the pelvic floor muscles which do a lot of good work. Strong pelvic muscles also prevent a lot of mishaps – like peeing when you laugh too hard, sneeze, or even cough. No one wants to go through that, but it’s a reality for plenty of people, especially after they’ve gone through childbirth.
There’s another reason why strong pelvic floor muscles matter. The stronger those muscles are, the better sex can be for everyone involved.
Understanding the Pelvic Floor Muscles
The pelvic floor muscles have a very specific and important job. They support the bladder, uterus, vagina, and rectum housed in your pelvis. Think of them like a hammock or sling. When the muscles are weak, your body has less support. This leads to bladder problems, bowel function issues, and a decrease in vaginal function and sensation.
If you have a penis, you’re not left out of the pelvic floor muscle issue. Your pelvic floor supports your bladder and bowels. Weak pelvic muscles can lead to a lack of control during urination, bowel movements, and ejaculation. While people with vulvas commonly experiencing muscle weakness due to childbirth, pelvic muscles also weaken from obesity or problems with constipation. The good news is that you’re not doomed to have a weak pelvic floor or bad sex.
Why Pelvic Floor Muscles Matter in Sex
When you have stronger pelvic floor muscles, you improve your experience with sex and possibly even your partner’s experience. Weak muscles can lead to a decrease in sexual satisfaction but strong muscles get a lot of sexy work done:
- You can reach orgasm more quickly.
- Your orgasms may feel more intense.
- You’ll have higher sensitivity in your clitoris, labia, and vagina due to increased blood flow.
- Strong muscles let you contract your vagina around a partner’s penis to increase pleasure for both of you.
- If you have a penis, a strong pelvic floor gives you more control over when you ejaculate.
You’re not doomed to have weak pelvic muscles. Like any other muscle in your body, you can increase the strength and function of this part of your body with a little exercise. If having better sex, with or without a partner, is a motivating factor, even better.
Strengthening Your Pelvic Floor Muscles
The easiest and most common way to strengthen these muscles is to do Kegel exercises. They can be done by anyone, anywhere, and for once, you won’t break a sweat. It’s as easy as tightening or squeezing the muscles in your pelvis that control the flow of urine and releasing the muscle. That’s one Kegel. Most experts recommend three sets of 10 reps every day.
Depending on how weak your muscles are, it may take a few weeks to see real progress. If you have a vulva, the easiest way to check is to squeeze your muscles during penetration and see if you or your partner can feel a difference. Squeeze your partner’s penis or finger when it’s inserted in your body. Don’t have a partner? No problem, finger yourself and then squeeze. The easier and harder you can squeeze, the stronger those muscles have become.
Spicing Up Your Kegel Routine
Pretending to stop yourself from peeing several times a day can get old, fast. While it’s definitely convenient – do it standing in line at a store, driving to work, talking on the phone – it’s also easy to forget. With the right insertable sex toy, designed to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles and turn you on, you’ll have a good excuse to get your “workout” in.
Look for Kegel balls that are attached by a cord for easy removal. Some will be weighted so that as you walk around, they’ll shift and provide added stimulation. Some toys, like the Evi Kegel Exerciser, aren’t balls but an insertable device that you simply hold in place with your pelvic muscles. Others like the Hula Pleasure Beads come with a remote control to add a few vibrations and other stimulation while you have it inserted. You’ll have the added benefit of subtle pleasure rolling around in your vagina while you’re making your muscles stronger for better sex later.
Bad sex happens for any number of reasons. A partner you’re not compatible with, communication issues, or a body that just won’t cooperate – all of which have a solution. When it’s your own pelvis that’s the culprit, breaking up isn’t an option, but strengthening the muscles is. Whether you decide to work out to stop peeing when you laugh or because you’re not orgasming the way you’d like, using the right method and sex toy can make all the difference. Find your perfect sex toy solution to make Kegels more exciting and interesting.
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