We’ve asked our girlfriends. We’ve answered in dissatisfaction and with pride. We’ve even questioned ourselves as we measure past performances against our current sexual state of the union. We really just want to know what’s normal.
How long—truthfully—does he last in bed?
If you ask five different people how long intercourse lasts on average, you’re likely to hear five different answers. And no one is really wrong. Remember when Sting made tantric sex a thing? How about your girlfriend who swears she loves quickies?
The fact is, as long as you’re happy and sexually satisfied, time is irrelevant. However, if he’s coming too soon and you’re not getting off, you need to address the issue. “But wait,” you might be thinking, “Since when is a man’s sexual shortcoming my problem?” Well, it’s not. It’s just that sex, like any relationship component, requires communication.
Believe me, there are methods (and toys!) to help him become longer lasting. Who knows… you might even be able to skirt the dreaded talk altogether by simply putting a few tips into action.
1. Suggest he masturbates before you two go at it
You don’t have to position it as a prelude to sex the same way you would suggest he washes the car before he mows the lawn—it’s not a chore! Spice it up by telling him you’ll be home late, but that he should take care of himself in anticipation of a mind-blowing orgasm later. Round 1 for him = good. Round 2 for you = better!
2. Peruse sex toys for couples:
- Cock rings slow his blood flow, leading to harder erections, longer sessions, and intensified orgasms.
- The Frisky Bunny Vibrating Ring is one of the top couples’ sex toys on the market. He stays harder longer and your clit gets all sorts of love.
- Try the Fantasy C-Ringz Ultimate Couples Cage. Just trust us on this. It’s the battery-powered answer to how to make a man last longer in bed.
- Is he suddenly lasting longer? Great! Just don’t forget the lube for those extra-long sessions.
3. Try edging
Before he’s about to cum (but not after the point of no return), have him back off and cool down. Have him focus on a different area of your body. The idea is to delay the orgasm and build it back up again. For a double whammy, introduce a little BDSM by verbalizing his orgasm denial. Take control and tell him he’s not allowed to cum yet. By the time the two of you are ready, it will be explosive.
4. Do Kegels together
It sounds silly, but sex isn’t supposed to be serious anyway, so just roll with it. You already know the benefits of strengthening your pelvic muscles. Did you know he can do the same to have better control over his ejaculations? Squeeze down below like you would if you were trying not to pee. Repeat. Do three sets of 10 repetitions while you watch TV together.
5. Squeeze his penis during sex
You’re not trying to hurt him; just give a firm squeeze at the base of his shaft where a cock ring would go. Whisper some sexy words so he knows what you’re doing. “Wait,” and “Not yet!” should get your message across.
Sex should be gratifying for both parties. That’s likely not the case if one partner is regularly finishing before the other. If you’re still wondering how to make a man last longer in bed, odds are you need to be more direct with your communication style. If he wants to make you happy, he’ll find a way to listen up… and keep it up!