When it comes to pulling your weight in the bedroom, keep one thing in mind: no one likes a dead fish. It’s true: “dead fish” syndrome is the term applied to women who lay motionless during sex while their partner does all the work.
Forget the imperfect body hang-ups (perfect doesn’t exist) and ditch the notion that you have to be a porn star to be amazing at sex (you don’t.)
Take our advice on how to be more active in bed and move a few orgasms closer to a better love life.
1. Use your hands! If missionary is your partner’s go-to position, spice things up by keeping the limbs moving. Grab his or her hair, run your fingers down their back, grip a bulging bicep. Don’t be afraid to show enthusiasm by wrapping your legs around your partner or breaking for a passionate kiss or lip bite. The important thing is to move.
2. Thrust like a pro. You might not be used to working your hips, and that’s okay. There’s still time to learn how to become more active during sex. Try to meet your partner’s thrusts in missionary by using the wall or headboard for leverage. Better yet, switch it up entirely and get on top. Your enthusiasm and willingness to experiment will always trump skill.
3. Laugh. Yes, staying active includes working your funny bone, too. Sex shouldn’t be serious all the time. Did you sneeze during a BJ? Pass gas? Accidentally knock noggins? Channel your inner immaturity and laugh it off. As an added bonus, you’ll give yourselves a moment to cool down before building intensity back up again.
4. Self-esteem issues? Get over them! Repeat after us: “If they’re having sex with me, they’re into me.” See how simple that is? The best way to get more active in bed is to practice self-confidence and self-love. Try and see yourself through your partner’s eyes by focusing on your beautiful bouncing breasts rather than, say, your cellulite.
5. Call in the toys. There’s nothing sexier than a woman who knows what she wants and exactly how to get it. Tease your partner and make them watch as you use your favorite clit sex toy on yourself. If you want to really blow their mind, try a butt plug or strap on, just don’t forget the lube.
Jack and Jill
The best advice for how to enjoy sex more is to not overthink it. Jack and Jill is always available to help spice up your love life with bedroom toys from beginner vibrators to BDSM restraints. Just relax, have fun, and try to keep yourself moving!