Talking to your partner before you pull out the fuzzy handcuffs and wooden paddle is always a good idea. Sharing your sexiest fantasies before you put on a wig and throw yourself into replay is a requirement. But not every sexy moment has to be thoroughly discussed with spreadsheets, presentation slides, and a chart or two.
As long as you know your partner well and have a sense of what they like and don’t like, sexy surprises can be fun. They also have the power to get you out of a sexual rut – same day, same time, same position. Never do something to or for your partner they’ve asked you not to. Within everyone’s personal limits, sexy surprises can be a lot of fun for both of you. Here are a few things to try.
Send a Dirty Text Message
If you’re not the type of person to explicitly type or say, “I want to fuck you,” this will definitely come as a surprise. Go as bold or as subtle as you’d like. Tease your partner with ideas of what you want to do later or turn them on with clearly stated desires. Even if your sexy text (sext) message doesn’t lead to actual fucking later, you’ll both benefit from the added excitement.
Take Pictures While Getting Dressed
Selfies are nothing new, and plenty of us have sent a nude or two. This is the in-between option. While you’re getting dressed at home or trying on new clothes in a dressing room, get your phone out. Pictures of you barely dressed, in sexy lingerie, or with a few strategic buttons unclasped will give your partner all kinds of ideas. Even better, since it’s not a nude, there’s less chance a co-worker or anyone else will see more of your body than you’d like.
Greet Your Partner at the Door
Put on your sexiest outfit, strip down to nothing, or choose sexy underwear that shows off all your best features. When you know your partner is about to walk in, strike a pose. You might want to practice this in the mirror. If the outfit is sexy enough, you might not have to do anything but stand there. Your message will come through loud and clear, and your partner will be pleasantly surprised. And yes, this can be impossible to do when you live with parents, roommates, or children. Also, make sure your partner isn’t bringing anyone home with them.
Wake Up Sex
Nothing says, “Surprise!” or “I’m thinking about you” like being woken up with sex. Don’t worry about your morning breath too much and go for the sweet spots. You know how they like to be touched (or you should by now). Start slow and gentle because some people don’t do well with being jolted awake. Kiss them, stroke their skin, and ease them into their day. After an early morning quickie, you’ll both start the day with a smile.
Write a Sexy Note
You can do this in a few ways. Leave a note on their nightstand before you go to work. Slip it into their bag so they’ll find it when they get to work. Add it to their lunch bag when they aren’t looking. The point is for them to find a handwritten note telling them how much you want them. Think of it as an analog sext. Handwritten notes can be very meaningful to people because of the effort required.
Join Them in the Shower
Try a smooth, “Can I join you?” while your partner is in the shower, and you’ll probably get a “Yes, please!” Pay attention to the situation, though. If your partner’s running late or feeling rushed, this isn’t the time. Otherwise, ask to join and yes, wait for them to answer. Once you’ve got consent, offer to wash their back and other parts.
Buy a Sex Toy
This tip assumes you know your partner likes and wants a sex toy. Maybe you shopped on the Jack and Jill website together. They might have told you about a specific sex toy they want. As long as you know it’s on their wish list, this is okay to do. Buy it and have it shipped to them or leave the box on their side of the bed where they can find it.
Sexy surprises don’t always have to cost money but they should show you’ve put some time or effort into it. What makes many people happy is that you’re thinking of them, even in the sexiest, dirtiest ways. Make sure you’ve got an idea of what they like and what they don’t so you don’t accidentally violate limits. If you offer to do a sexy thing and they say no, respect their decision. Try again with something else later. When you find the surprise that turns them on, you can both benefit from it.