How to Make Self Love Part of Your Self Care

How to Make Self Love Part of Your Self Care
by Victoria Blisse Victoria Blisse

Masturbation has so many uses and lots of them aren’t actually that sexy really. There’s wanking for procrastination, help to sleep, and to just stop being horny so you can concentrate.  Often it’s just a means to an end. But actually masturbation is a powerful as well as a literal example of self-love.

When was the last time you masturbated for the fun of it? Just you on your own, enjoying your body for no other reason than you want to? I know when I think about this question I realize it was quite a long time ago indeed.

When did you last use self care to look after yourself? Self-care can take many guises. It can be a long bath, finally making that dentist appointment you’ve been putting off, enjoying a hobby, or saying no to something you just don’t really have time to do.

Or it can be masturbation.

Now, I realize life is busy and that the term “self-care” is being used to sell all sorts of ridiculousness but please don’t just switch off. It’s actually just a way of talking about being good to the most important person in your life.

You.

And you deserve a treat. Time just for you to concentrate purely on your pleasure.  How do you manage that though?

Make Time for Masturbation

Make Time for MasturbationThat’s definitely easier said than done but when things (like sexual pleasure) are important you make time for them. So make time for you. You are very important, and you can’t do all the myriad things you do for others if you’re empty yourself.

It’s okay if you can’t find a huge amount of time, or it’s not a regular slot. Work in a wank when you can. But don’t let it cause extra stress in your life.

Make Space for Masturbation

You might not want to light candles and spread rose petals on the bed, but you might. Do what you want to make masturbation a treat.  You might want to climb into bed on the day when you change the sheets, or you might prefer to snuggle up on the sofa under your snuggliest blanket.

It might be that being behind the bathroom’s locked door works best for you. Have your fun in the bath or the shower. Find a place that works best for you and make it as comfortable (or uncomfortable if that’s your thing) a space as possible.

Make Love With Yourself

Make Love With YourselfOkay, so you might not like that phrase. It’s not everyone’s favorite but the whole point of self-love as self-care is the love bit. To masturbate because you want to and no other reason. To connect with your pleasure and fully immerse yourself in it.

Mindful Masturbation

Mindfulness activities are things that engage your brain on what you’re doing in the moment so it’s not distracted by other things. Making masturbation into a mindful act of self-love is not as hard as you might think.

Prepare

Have everything you need close by. Lube, even if you’re not sure you’ll need it, is always good to have on hand. Keep your favorite sex toy near, maybe bring a selection. You might start off really wanting to be filled with a dildo but finish with the direct stimulation of a clit sucker or masturbation sleeve. Have options so you don’t have to stop halfway through to find what you need.

Concentrate

Think about how you feel as you touch yourself. Immerse yourself in the sensations. Touch yourself all over, not just your genitals, and find what feels good for you.

Fantasize

I’ve always been a dreamer and when I wank I need a story to lose myself in. Immerse yourself in your favorite fantasy, whether it’s in your mind, through porn, or in erotica. Find a way to occupy your mind with sexual thoughts in whatever works best for you.

Conclusion

As with any sexual act, remember the aftercare. Give yourself some time to rest and enjoy the post-play glow. Get yourself a drink or a sugary snack. Maybe seek out a hug if you need it.   Self-love is self-care, and I hope you feel better for trying this out yourself soon!

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Victoria Blisse Written by Victoria Blisse.
Victoria Blisse is known as the Queen of Smut, Reverend to the kinky and is the Writer in Residence at Cocktails and Fuck Tales. Mancunian Odd Duck, her northern English quirkiness shows through in all of her stories along with her own particular brand of humor and romance that bring laughs and warm fuzzies in equal measure. Passion, love, and laughter fill her works, just as they fill her busy life.

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