Beyond Beginners: How to Take Your BDSM Experience to a New Level

Beyond Beginners: How to Take Your BDSM Experience to a New Level

If you’ve already delved into the world of bondage, dominance, and sadomasochism and want to explore further, there are ways to use your BDSM sex toys and experience in new ways. Here are a few tips to take your kink practice beyond the basics.

Use BDSM toys on new areas of the body

Use BDSM toys on new areas of the bodyIf you’ve already explored the basics with nipple clamps, for example, increase the intensity by using the clamps on different parts of the body like the thighs, belly, or genitals. Putting a clamp on a new area of the body is unexpected and more painful but not risky. It’s a safe way to invite a feeling of danger to your scene.

Make sure to choose the right kind of clamp for the body part. Consider clamps that allow you to control the degree of pressure. Spring clamps can be intense!

Try using your toys in new ways

To create a new sensation with BDSM gear like a clamp, move it around by pulling and twisting it. Gentle or vigorous actions in this way will make it feel more intense.

You can also leave them on a bit longer. (Don’t leave it on too long or you risk losing blood flow to the area.) When you remove clamps, the final part that sticks to the skin is extra painful. So simply leaving them on a little longer itself can up the intensity.

You can also try putting weights on your clamps or playing with temperature, such as running metal clamps in cold water before use.

With all your BDSM toys, think about where else you can safely experiment with temperature or alter your play to change the experience for your partner.

Vary the emotional quality of your play

Vary the emotional quality of your playYou can also heighten the intensity of a scene with the emotional quality. Try a new roleplay, or add a new emotion such as fear, shame, or humiliation, which are big drivers of kink. This can also be psychological. For example, if someone is terrified of spiders, you could play with a rubber spider in front of them but avoid touching them with it. Make sure they consent to this (and everything else) beforehand, of course!

Try playing in a new place. Attend a BDSM party or invite a friend to watch. Having an audience can heighten emotions. If you live in a place with thin walls, you can also be louder at a club or at kink camp and say things you wouldn’t otherwise want to say.

Make sure you control all the elements of the experience if you choose to include others. If you don’t want people to talk or insert themselves into your scene, make that clear beforehand.

Experiment with a new impact toy

If you’ve already use low-impact toys, you can try ramping up their intensity or purchase a new toy to explore. Do you like thud or sting? Think about the materials and construction of your toy. With leather, more rigidity will deliver more sting. Rubber and synthetic materials are typically very stingy. More surface space, like on a paddle or slapper, will distribute the sensation more evenly and the feeling will be more of a thud.

If you can, try a new BDSM toy out in the store by using it on your forearm to give you an idea of the sensation you can expect. If it feels welcoming, give it a try.

My experience with a slapper and a whip

My experience with a slapper and a whipTwo impact toys that I’ve tried are a slapper and a cat o’ nine tails whip. The slapper has a forked end to deliver both intimidation and intensity but felt quite light. When my partner spanked me with it, the sensation was dull and diffused. Quite pleasant, in my opinion.

On the other hand, the cat o’ nine tails whip was deceptively painful. It looked fun and light, and I felt like Catwoman with it in my hand. The leather handle extends into nine braided falls that end in a thick knot. Even a low intensity hit delivered a sharp sting. As the hits got harder, I yelped and found it challenging to withstand the intense sensation that continued to penetrate even after landing. Overall, I preferred the sensations from the slapper, and my partner also preferred it since he could hit quite hard.

Conclusion

Remember that BDSM is all about creating mutually enjoyable experiences by heightening sensory, sexual, and emotional responses. Communicate your desires and boundaries before playing out a scene with your partner(s), and ask about their preferences and what they would be open to. Afterward, check in with them about how it went and ask what they might want to enhance or change for next time.

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