10 Masturbation Myths That Need to Die According to Experts
We asked a few experts to tell us the masturbation myths they wish would die so more people can enjoy their self-love experience. If you believe any of these, it’s time to rethink your views on solo sex!
Masturbation is Wrong or Bad
“Many of us have grown up with negative emotions around masturbation because we were told it was wrong, states Dr. Kameelah Phillips, OBGYN and founder of Calla Women’s Health in NYC. “Masturbation is a normal and healthy part of a relationship with yourself. There is nothing out of place with masturbation and is a normal part of learning what your sexual pleasure involves.”
This myth isn’t just bad, it could prevent you from feeling better and being healthier. That’s right. Masturbation is actually good for you.
Masturbation is Cheating
You’ve probably heard this one before, and it is so wrong. “Masturbation can be a healthy outlet during periods when your libido is higher than your partner’s,” advises Dr. Wyatt Fisher, a licensed clinical psychologist and host of Marriage Podcast. “However, it is important to keep your mind focused on your partner during masturbation and not to use masturbation as a way to avoid intimacy with your partner.”
Masturbation Prevents Orgasm During Vaginal Penetration
If you’ve got a penis and you masturbate, this might be one you’ve heard before. “While it is true that you can become accustomed to ejaculating during certain techniques,” says sex therapist Dr. Christopher Ryan Jones, “you only have to worry about not being able to orgasm during vaginal intercourse if you are using too tight of a grip, which could cause other problems as well.”
Masturbation Keeps You From Getting Pregnant
Dr. Jones points out that some people believe that if “you masturbate too often you will not be able to have children because your sperm count will be too low. It is true that people who have difficulty getting pregnant are advised to avoid masturbation sometimes, but this is typical because they have a low sperm count, to begin with. If you don’t have this problem, you would have to be masturbating A LOT for this to happen.”
“Men who have normal sperm parameters can ejaculate daily and still achieve pregnancy. For women, masturbation will not provoke ovulation of the egg or prevent conception,” states Dr. Phillips.
You Might Become Addicted to Masturbation
Worried that your enjoyment of masturbation indicates a much more serious problem? You’re not alone, but it’s also not true. “Granted, masturbating is enjoyable,” says Dr. Jones. “But as long as you can still keep a job, or take care of your other obligations, I wouldn’t worry about being addicted to it.”
Sex, porn, and masturbation addiction are often over-blown concerns based primarily on society’s lack of sex education and acceptance.
Only the Lonely Masturbate
“I am always saddened to hear this one,” says Dr. Jones. “Most people who are in relationships still masturbate. The sad part though is the assumption that there is something wrong with people exploring their bodies and enjoying their sexuality. All people should have the joy of doing so.”
Dr. Phillips agrees. “We masturbate for so many reasons — to relieve stress, sleep, boredom, sexual release, etc. Masturbation is not a reflection of an unhealthy or dysfunctional relationship and, in fact, may be a part of a thriving and sexually healthy union.”
Masturbation Decreases Your Libido
“Your libido is a complex bio-social, cultural, psychological, emotional, and physical concept,” says Dr. Phillips. “While masturbation may relieve a physical desire, it is unlikely to have an overwhelming impact on your libido. Addressing the relationship, physical, mental, and psychological stressors are much more productive in stimulating your libido.”
You Don’t Need Lube
Not so fast, says Kristen Thomas, certified sex coach. “Male or female, external or internal stimulation, all the above is better with lube. A little lube can go a long way for stimulating your clitoris with your hand or a sex toy externally. Lube should always be used for internal stimulation of any kind as a rule to avoid tiny tears in the lining of your vagina that causes a lack of sensation over time, and the anus is not self-lubricating, so that’s 100% of the time that lube is involved.”
Sex Toys Might Make You Dislike Partnered Sex
“To me, that’s like saying I might get so used to hamburgers I won’t like steak anymore,” says Thomas. “Can you get a bit used to a certain toy after using it repeatedly and frequently? Yes, but taking a break for a week or two usually alleviates that. Use your sex toy on your own before you introduce into partnered play, and you can certainly reserve some of your collection for “just you” time.”
It’s Only Fun if You Orgasm
Yes, of course, orgasms are fun, but have you ever considered masturbation without them? Thomas has. “While it’s true most of us masturbate in order to come when was the last time you just played with your body? I mean really touched yourself and explored your curves, your erogenous zones, played with sensations such as pressure or temperature, and the like?” asks Thomas. “Taking time to play with yourself on occasion, either as just exploration time with your body or as a sort of foreplay for yourself before you focus on having an orgasm, gives you the map of your ever-changing body, one that you can then show your partner how to navigate.”
Masturbation is never required, and it’s okay if you’re just not that into it. But if you avoid it because you believe any of these myths, now is a good time to reconsider. You deserve more pleasure, orgasms, and self-love in your life, so ahead and touch yourself! And if you want a sex toy to make it easier and better, Jack and Jill Adult can help!