Tired of the same old New Year’s resolutions every year? Focus on your sexual pleasure instead! Not every resolution at the start of a new year needs to be about weight loss, running a marathon, or skydiving. This year, let your resolutions focus on pleasure, self-discovery, and sexual fun.
Note: You should never do anything that you don’t want to do or anything that hits a hard limit, and neither should your partner. Consent is key in everything, including the things you want to try.
Masturbate More Often
Some people masturbate like it’s their job, but plenty of people don’t masturbate very much at all. Masturbation is the best way to learn your own body and what you want. If you’re not sure what kind of sexual stimulation you enjoy or what helps get you off best, easiest, or quickest, masturbation is the way to learn. Consider this permission to touch yourself more often this year.
Buy Your First Sex Toy
If you’re here at Jack and Jill, you may already own a sex toy. In case you don’t, this is the year to try one. Think of the stimulation you like best – penetration, clitoral sensations, g-spot stimulation, anal play – and look for a toy that gives you what you like. You’ve got more choices than you realize from vibrators to cock rings and fetish gear to strap-ons and dildos.
Initiate More Sex
Are you the type who usually waits for your partner to let you know they’re down to fuck? Your sexy resolution can be to the one who initiates sex more often. You don’t have to drag your partner into the bedroom, throw them down on the bed, and have your way with them – unless that turns you both on. It can be as small as kissing them first or straight-up saying, “I really want to get naked with you.”
Masturbate Together More Often
Masturbating together can go a few ways. You can get yourself off side-by-side with your partner. Your partner can masturbate for you while you watch and then you switch. You can masturbate together while also watching each other. Another option is to guide your partner’s masturbation (or the other way around) by telling them to go faster, slower, do this or that.
Have Sex in a New Way or Place
Not all sex is penis (or dildo) inserted into a vagina or anus. And not all sexual activity needs to be done in bed, at night, with the lights turned down. If that’s what you love, great! But it’s okay to experiment more and do different things, too. Sex can be anything that brings you both pleasure, even if you don’t orgasm, and plenty of rooms and spaces in your home are good for mutual pleasure.
Indulge Your Sexy or Kinky Fantasy
Indulging fantasies goes both ways. Confess a thing you’d really like to do with your partner and if they consent, try it. At the same time, if your partner has a kinky fantasy of their own, consider exploring it with them. Remember, no one should do anything they hate or that makes them uncomfortable. But indulge each other in your fantasies and you may find a new kink in the process.
Touch “That” Spot
A lot of people have certain spots they’re nervous about touching — on themselves or a partner. And let’s face it, for most people, it’s the butt. Again, as long as it’s not a hard limit, consider trying it. Anal play and stimulation aren’t for everyone but it’s also not as “gross” or “weird” as you might imagine. People with prostates often find that the right kind of stimulation (like prostate massage) gives them bigger orgasms and more pleasure.
Try a New Sex Toy
Do you have a go-to vibrator? Have you only ever played with one kind of sex toy? Is your toy the same style you’ve had for a decade? There’s nothing wrong with loving one thing, but let this be the year you branch out a little. If clitoral stimulation is your jam, look for other styles of vibrators that stimulate your clit in a new way. For the person who’s always used a standard cock ring, maybe this is the year to try one with vibrations.
Talk More About What You Want…and Listen, Too
The best and easiest way to improve your sex life is to communicate more. This means you’ve got to talk about what you like and don’t like. Let your partner know if they should slow down or be more gentle (or rough!). Teach them what you enjoy so that you can get more of it. And at the same time, you need to listen to your partner when they tell you what they like and don’t like during sex, too.
Sex is meant to be fun but that doesn’t mean you don’t have to put a little effort into making it better. This year, while you’re making New Year’s resolutions to climb a mountain, travel the world, or learn a new language, add a few sexy resolutions in to the mix, too.