Lean in close for this one, guys. You’re about to learn something you might not have known before. It gets treated like a secret but it shouldn’t be. If everyone knew, maybe more people would have better sex. Are you ready?
Most women do not have an orgasm from penetrative sex.
Are you shocked? Did you think all that yelling or panting was always real? Sometimes it is but sometimes it’s not.
Only about 25 percent of women can and do come from penis-in-vagina (PIV) sex. But to be on the safe side, let’s assume the woman you’re having sex with or want to have sex with isn’t part of that minority.
Some women need clitorial stimulation to come. Others their g-spot to get attention. And some women need all of the above.
How can you make sure she gets off, too? Getting into the right position helps.
Good Old Doggy Style
There’s nothing wrong with sticking with the basics. Missionary probably won’t get her off, but doggy style might. You’ll be able to hit her g-spot with the right amount of pressure and intensity. Even better, if you can, reach around and stimulate her clit. Encourage her to do it if you can’t – especially if you’re holding onto her hips while you pound away.
She can stay up on her arms so she’s in a tabletop position or she can press her chest and head down to the bed so her back is arched. It’s about what’s most comfortable for both of you.
While this position is technically missionary, it takes things up a definite notch. Spread her legs wide and push them back towards her shoulders. If she’s not very flexible, bending her knees works too. The point is to ride her high while she’s splayed wide open for you. You’ll have a better chance of stimulating her clitoris while you’re thrusting in and out. She can pull you close and grind against you for extra sensation.
Spooning is pretty intimate whether you’re having sex or not. To make this work, lie side by side, her back into your chest. She may need to lean forward or arch her back to make penetration easier. Once you’re in, go as fast or as slow as you like. The sensations will be much different since you’re coming in at a different angle.
The way to make this good for her and encourage a few orgasms is in the easy access to her clitoris you’re going to have. Reach around and dip your hand between her legs. You can also raise her top leg up in the air to increase your thrust and reach more nerve-endings.
Riding on Top
Sometimes called Cowgirl, when she’s on top, there’s a lot more that can happen. It’s easier for you to stimulate her breasts and nipples. She can grind her clit against your pelvis. The speed and thrust are under her control so she can get herself to where she needs to be. Don’t worry though, if that’s not a good position for you, once she’s a limp noodle from her juicy orgasms, you can switch things up again.
Want to try a different take on being ridden? Simply have her climb on top like she’s going to ride you, but instead of facing you, have her turn around. You get a beautiful view of her bottom, and she gets more sensations in a new way. She’ll be able to stroke her own clit at the same time which will practically guarantee an explosive climax.
This position can be done with her legs behind her, like she’s actually straddling you or she stretch her legs in front of her a little. Comfort is key here, if she’s not in a good position, coming is highly unlikely.
Don’t Rely Only on Penetration
You don’t have to fuck her to get her off. Truly, if you want your sexual experience to be better for both of you – wetter, slicker, easier penetration – get her off before you’re inside of her. Use your hand, your tongue, a toy, or whatever she loves. Spend the time before sex giving her as many orgasms as you can.
Pay attention to all her erogenous zones, not just her clit and g-spot. The neck, ears, breasts, and everywhere in between can help her reach orgasm with just the right stroke, lick, or nibble. A woman’s mind is probably her biggest hotspot. Turn her on there, and the rest will follow.
You’d be amazed at how creative your sexual positions can get when the goal is to get both of you off. Bend her legs, penetrate her at a different angle, give her more control, and if that fails, focus on her pleasure before you have sex. The point is to have a good time together whether that means through PIV sex or some other method.
Now it’s your turn. Do you have a go-to position to get your partner off easily? Or have you found it’s easier to do before you have penetrative sex?