BDSM Aftercare: Giving Your Sub What They Deserve

  1. ball gag training system

There’s a lot more to BDSM than restraints and commands. Did you know intense scenes should be followed by aftercare? While we at Jack and Jill have toys for the dominant and submissive alike, we also want to ensure you have everything you need to meet your partner’s emotional needs.

What is BDSM Aftercare?

Aftercare refers to the “come down” after a BDSM session wherein a couple’s emotional and physical needs are met. While some couples prefer to live a dominant/submissive lifestyle 24/7, others limit play strictly to the bedroom and require attention before returning to the “real world.” The more intense the scene, the more important aftercare becomes.

Aftercare could mean cuddling, kissing or talking about what happened for a sort of “mental recalibration.” It also could mean snacking, hydrating or stretching for physical recuperation. Only you know what you need as a submissive or dominant (yes, the latter needs love, too), so it’s important to communicate.

Practicing Aftercare

BDSM sex toys are a wonderful introduction to play time and their use often will determine what kind of care to ask for/provide. Consider the following scenarios as inspiration for aftercare.

1. Tie up your submissive with Jack and Jill’s Under the Bed Restraint System. After teasing and tormenting them with your hands, mouth and other body parts, gently release your partner and follow up with gentle kisses and spooning. Although the nylon and Velcro straps are soft enough to prevent injury, you might try massaging legs and ankles, arms and wrists for attentive aftercare.

2. Using a Ball Gag Training System is a safe, gentle way to ease into more intense scenes of power play. Whether you silence your good boy or girl with the smallest or largest ball, aftercare should include a discussion about how it felt before, during and after the scene. Don’t forget to determine a safe gesture to take the place of a safe word such as three taps to mean “stop.”

3. Electro play can seem intimidating at first, but the Zeus Arcana Electro Vibe Wand ensures your BDSM session is safe and sexy. Decompress from the shocks and pulses of this powerful toy with a gentle massage. Add sensual massage oils to provide a nice contrast between sharp stimulation and soothing touch. Be mindful that electro play can result in “sub drop”—the onset of depression after a sudden flood of endorphins from an intense scene.

Jack and Jill

Don’t forget to have basic first-aid items on hand for the submissive and plenty of emotional support from the dom. For more ideas for play, browse Jack and Jill’s collection of bondage toys. Safety, communication, consent and loads of TLC make for a successful BDSM partnership.

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